Foot inserted properly into mouth..

Things you do and say when feelings are involved

I recently took a leap of faith, and by doing so, I did something stupid.
I have a friend I recently became very close with. By recently I mean within a year or two.
Stupidly enough, I let myself fall for her.
This person had worries of her own, so I didn’t let her know or say anything about it.
I fell more and more for her for each passing day.

Over time I was blinded by my own feelings to see that all she really needed was a friend.
A good friend to trust and to lean on when time called for it.

This is not going to be a long-winded post, but simply an

Apology

I’m sorry.  I can’t be there for you when you need it.
You are very important to me and I hope you still know that.

Todays track:
Enigma – Why!…

Gamifying your day..

The changes that matter

I’ve mentioned this before and I’ll probably mention this again.
I work as a team leader for a small team of support-technicians at a very large IT-firm here in Norway.

A while back we saw the need to make some changes. This in order to make working more fun and to make it a self-propelling system.

I got this idea from the guys at Extra Credit. Formerly at The Escapist Magazine, now at Penny Arcade.
First was an episode on “Gamification“, and a few episodes later, they had an episode on “Gamifying Education“.
These concepts are genius.

My generation and the ones following, are more and more based around games.
We learn a lot from games these days.
But the main thing we learn, without realizing it, is that reaching achievements through several smaller goals, lead to rewards. This is what struck me.

In a workplace where we’re constantly doing the same tasks over and over, I thought: Why not make that our advantage instead of it being our burden?

The system

First I’d like to point out one thing: We’re constantly adding and refining the system.
I thought about how to best do this. We’re now in our third week.

The basics are easy. You get points for doing tasks. When you get enough points, you’ll get a perk.
I’ll explain perks later.
For each email replied and each phone call answered, I give the team points.
For each task assigned by me, they get extra points. And so on.
Some tasks give more points than others.
The rewards are supposed to be the drive of this all, and rewards are given for every level.

The team as a whole will also get bonus points for different reasons. One of these things might be like I did today.
I gave them all a 500 point bonus for working hard throughout the week, even though we had few people and a lot to do. Everyone took a huge step towards the first “perk”.

For the team to be able to monitor their own progress, I’ve made a custom character sheet for the them.
With pictures of everyone, their names and nicknames. Yes, I decide the nicknames.
This also shows the last perk they got.
At the bottom of this sheet are comments from me and where I would be in this system, if I had been in it.

You might now ask: “Why aren’t you in it with them?”
That’s easy.
Just like any other roleplaying game, there has to be a Dungeon Master.
This is me. My job is to keep this up to date and to monitor it all so there is no cheating.

Normally this system is based solely on positive reinforcements.
This wouldn’t work on a team that is dependant on constant progression. This due to demands by our customers and of also by our bosses.
In order for it to be progression, there has to be a downside to being the one with the least points.
Also, for this not to be a hassle or problem the downsides aren’t big or problematic.
The “responsibility” of bringing some candy or something else good for our weekly meetings on Fridays.
Why? Also to make it so that nobody wants to be the person with the lowest amount of XP.

Progression?

For the system to be advantageous for all parties, we need progression.
By all parties, this is what I mean: Me as team leader, I want to report better and better numbers.
My boss wants us to handle more incidents.
Our customers want us to solve more cases on the first contact.
And finally, my team wants to reach the final level.

How do we ensure steady and self-driven progress?
We make the “perks” better for each level reached, and we stretch the requirements for each level.
This should, in theory, make the “player” try harder to reach those goals.

The perks

Like I said I would, this is an explanation of the perks.
For each level, the “player” gets a perk.
First simple ones that are mostly for fun.
“Instant-coffee-break-perk”. You get this at level 1. This is an expendable perk.
Instant cast and it gives you the right to send the one with lowest amount of XP to get you a cup of coffee or water.
This is the other part of not paying off to just cruise your way through the day.
If you don’t want to be the one getting the coffee, you better show that you’re able to deliver the goods.

Team bonuses

This is not only a system where you can give solo perks and bonuses, but also give the whole team a reward for reaching a set goal. For example answering a set amount of emails within a period of time, could give them all a gift certificate at the movies or such.
The possibilities are endless in how you motivate your team.
As an extra bonus, it creates a friendly competition amongst the “players”.
Yes, they get their solo bonuses and perks, but by giving them all a common goal to work towards, you also give them a sense of unity. They’ll strive to help each other to reach that goal.

The next step?

No idea, but the sky is really the limit here.
I would love to use this opportunity to say to all those in a position to do this: Try it.
So far, it seems to have a good effect on my team.
Or, if you’ve already done this, feel free to share your experiences with me.
I’m always after a way of making this better.

Tiger out..
Track of the day: Cardigans – My Favorite Game

My brain was/is slowly melting..

So!

Been ages sins my last blog.
Lets change that trend right now shall we?

I’ve been thinking a lot as of late, and trying to figure out a good way of getting my thoughts into a proper pattern.
And then it hit me.

Music.

I could probably write a song about this, but why would I when everything has been said already?

So here is a list of songs that describes my last few months and what’s going on in my brain.
All links lead to Grooveshark.com

Fast track from October to now with a few songs.
And in that order:

1: Disturbed – Overburdened
http://grooveshark.com/s/Overburdened/2axaw0?src=5

2: Disturbed – I’m alive
http://grooveshark.com/s/I+m+Alive/2prhXI?src=5

3: Godsmack – I stand alone
http://grooveshark.com/s/I+Stand+Alone/2DDcFB?src=5

4: Daniel Powter – Bad Day
http://grooveshark.com/s/Bad+Day+Album+Version/2gaj8q?src=5

5: Toby Keith – Talk about me
http://grooveshark.com/s/Talk+About+Me/4lV3rj?src=5

6: Will Smith – Just Cruisin’
http://grooveshark.com/s/Just+Cruisin/48rjFr?src=5

Right… So that was the fast track untill a few weeks ago.
Then this is what happened.

7: Lordi – Would you love a monsterman
http://grooveshark.com/s/Would+You+Love+A+Monsterman/3Km7ca?src=5

8: Secret Garden / Josh Groban – You raise me up
http://grooveshark.com/s/You+Raise+Me+Up/2vZXhF?src=5

9: Secondhand Serenade – Fall for you
http://grooveshark.com/s/Fall+For+You/3Ppt2U?src=5

10: Staind – Tangled up in you
http://grooveshark.com/s/Tangled+Up+In+You/2pZlMD?src=5

11: Theory of a Deadman – Not meant to be
http://grooveshark.com/s/Not+Meant+To+Be/2gyDJm?src=5

12: In flames – Come Clarity
http://grooveshark.com/s/Come+Clarity/2TPrR2?src=5

13: Finger Eleven – Slow Chemical
http://grooveshark.com/s/Kane+Slow+Chemical/46NPRJ?src=5

14: Shinedown – Simple man (acoustic)
http://grooveshark.com/s/Simple+Man+Album+Version/3QciGb?src=5

15: Saliva ft. Brent Smith – Don’t question my heart
http://grooveshark.com/s/Don+t+Question+My+Heart/2rqsQy?src=5

16: Jazzkantine – Nothing Else Matters
http://grooveshark.com/s/Nothing+Else+Matters/4jin8n?src=5

This last song is the BEST cover of Nothing Else Matters. Ever. Period.

So. Think what you will. Have any comments? For once, I ask you to keep them either to yourself of write me a PM.

Tiger out..

Boobs, the ultimate distraction..

EPIC!
Today on my way home from the doctors I saw cleavage of the epic kind.
And I mean epic.
Now, before I start describing it, let me remind you it’s January here.
January in Oslo often entails a few blue ones on the temperature.
And today was a very snowy day.

..And he saw that is was good..
So there I was. Outside. Neatly wrapped in my scarf, winter jacket and hat.
Snow falling down from the heavens, like a wintry version of the great flood Noah had to make his way out of.
I wonder how he’d do it with snow? Build an enormous sled?
But I digress.
You get the picture. We’re talking so much snow that I’m starting to feel like I was back home.
While standing there, music in my ears, thoughts rolling through my head and being alone in my little sphere amongst those hundreds of people rushing past me.
There she is.
Standing right next to me in her own world too. Amazing blue eyes. Almost icy-blue.
Wearing nothing that looks like winter-clothes. I almost wanted to go over to her and wrap myself around her to keep her warm.
Oddly enough she didn’t seem to be cold. I wonder what was keeping her warm?
With the smile on her lips, I’m guessing she was in love.
And I can tell you what he loves about her, because oh my word.
I finally noticed her boobs. Holy shit!
I catch myself actually staring at her boobs. And I had allowed myself to drop my jaw.
Beautiful.

Caught red-handed
It was all done in a few seconds.
Her top was so low, I caught glimpses of both over, side and underboob.
I was unable to look away. It was like a sirens call to me. The urge to walk over to her grew bigger, but this time to humbly ask her permission to touch them.
Perfect size for her hight. Well rounded.
The next thing that dawns on me is the fact that she’s not wearing a bra.
And in that instant I hear her laughing.
I jump a bit in my mind and straighten my head up and see her looking directly at me while laughing.
If my cheeks weren’t red already from being cold outside, it would have been very obvious that I felt ashamed.
The tram arrives and she walks on a set of doors further down from me. (NO I’M NOT STALKING HER, THIS WAS ACTUALLY MY TRAM)
I sit down. Face in palm. Head slightly shaking.

SURPRISE!
A moment passes while I sit there thinking what and idiot I am for being so blatant and rude.
I sit there and all of a sudden someone sits down next to me. It’s her. Smile is now slightly more crooked.
She says to me in a very broad american accent: “So, you liked them huh?”
Still slightly baffled I answer with: “A..b..bu..Mmllhuh?”
She looks down and I try not to follow her eyes. I finally stutter out: “Uhm.. Yes. I’m sorry for staring. I didn’t mean to, but it’s just that… January, and boobs.. It’s.. I’ll shut up now..”
She’s laughing while I’m trying to answer her. She says: “I’ll take it as a compliment. Have a nice day!”
She gets off the tram at the stop we’re pulling up to.

Thank you!

Music of today..

So, the other day I was sitting here reading some news and listening to music on Spotify.
I decided to stop by their new functions. One of their revamped functions is a list of the most popular singles and albums.
I start working my way through the list of singles.

Jaw-droppingly bad
After only a few songs I skipped to a song by Taio Cruz.
Hangover. I thought: “Hell, that’s how I feel. Maybe it’ll make me feel better?”
Was it? No.

Let me run you through the first line of the song. These lines are also the chorus.
“I got a hangover, wo-oh!”
Well, fair enough. It’s not that bad when you read it, but I’ll link the song at the end, and I want you to listen to it.
WHY ARE YOU SO FREAKING HAPPY?! You, Sir, are terrible at hangovers.
And don’t worry, it only gets “better”.

“I’ve been drinking too much for sure”
You kind of stated that in the first sentence there Captain Obvious!
I for one tend to get hangovers when I drink too much.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but sure enough, drinking too much entails headaches, low appetite ( to begin with ) and a general kind of: “Please kill me now for the mercy of it”-feeling.

Let’s keep going here.
“I got an empty cup
Pour me some more”
I know there’s a saying about hair of the dog, but not once have I been in a situation where “repairing” has been a good solution in the long run.
Most people I know have a tendency to stay the frack away from alcohol when they’ve “been drinking too much for sure” as he puts it.

Next bit.
“So I can go until I blow up, eh
And I can drink until I throw up, eh
And I don’t ever ever want to grow up, eh
I wanna keep it going, keep keep it going, going, going, going….”

First of all: Blow up? What’s this? Are you an angry drunk? Do you turn into a volcano? A bomb? I’ve never drank so much that I want to blow up.
Number two: Yes. Go ahead. If you drink untill you throw up, you don’t really want to keep going. Don’t know about the rest of you, but even with a bit of strategic purging of stomach contents, I don’t really feel good enough to keep going.
Number three: This has me confused. I didn’t get hung over untill I “grew up”.  If I had drunk half as much today as I did when I was 18, I would be hung over for 2 days.
Number four: You want to keep what going? The hangover? You, sir, have been taking stupid-lessons from the buffalo.

Fantastic piece of poetry
Ok. So that was the chorus bit. Let’s “keep it going” as he says.
Get ready for a piece of wonderful poetry.

“I got a little bit trashed last night, night
I got a little bit wasted, yeah yeah
I got a little bit mashed last night, night
I got a little shhh faced it, yeah yeah”

I’m not going to say anything here, but:

And continue.
More fabulous poetry incoming you see.
“I’m on the roof
If you don’t know
Well now you know”

RANDOM WORDS ARE NOT GOOD! The only time this much random ever makes sense: Old Spice commercials.

<iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=”http://www.youtube.com/embed/owGykVbfgUE” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen>

I don’t know where to even begin on analyzing that.
I can say one thing: Being hung over and on a roof is never a good thing for me.
They have a tendency to make it all worse.

A fountain of wisdom.
This next bit is rapped by Flo Rida.
This guy seems to have some issues to take care of.

“Drink up, cause a party ain’t a party til you ride all through it”
Fair enough. I’ll give him this.

“End up on the floor, can’t remember, you clueless”
I’ve done this a few times through the years. Never a good thing has happened to me while in said state.
But I also know this, the times I have been there, I’ve woken up with a hangover and I didn’t end up in the same state untill atleast one year later.
This I swear.

“Officer like, ‘What the hell is you doing’ “
I’ve never had an encounter with the law while drunk. Ever.
But I think I can say for sure that I would have ended up with being slightly more sober after that encounter.

“Stumbling, fumbling, you wonder what? come again”
This does happen when drunk. Not so much while hung over. Don’t get me wrong, it does happen, but mostly while drunk.

“Give me Henn, give me gin, give me liquor, give me champagne
Bubbles til the end”
Hennessey, gin, random liquor and champagne ? I don’t see a hangover. I see a man in a fetal position on the floor of his bathroom, waiting for the maker to come end his days.
No wonder you’ve got a hangover man. Don’t mix your boozes. Not that many at least.

“What happens after that, if you inspired it til I’m ten”
I think he was drunk while he wrote this. I’ll tell you what happens after all those different kinds of booze. You certainly don’t get inspired.
I get a sudden urge to throw up mostly. I don’t think anyone else feels very inspired after this either. Perhaps inspired to call it a night..

“We’re kicked to the head, who’s selling it”
So, now you’re getting your head kicked?! Not a very good time out on the town I’d say.

“I got a hangover, that’s my medicine”
Not a single time in my life have I fixed anything by being hung over.

“Don’t mean like I said, I’m too intelligent”
Well now. Let’s not get cocky.

“A little jack can’t hurt this veteran”
He has all this great booze. Hennessey amongst it, and then he chooses to go for some Jack?!
Someone slap this man.

“I show up but I never throw up, so let the drinks go up, go up”
So you at least hold your liquor down unlike your “homie” Taio. Good for you.

Here you have the whole wonderful piece of music.

Lastly, let me leave you with a piece of music I see as fit for hangovers.

Tiger, signing off.

Tiger on the prowl..

Like I’ve mentioned a little while back, I’ve now started an experiment.
A social experiment if you will.

I’ve decided to get out on the World Wild Web (yes, typo/pun intended) again in an attempt to just see if friends statements vs own statements mean anything to the people who read your profile.
How I did this was by making a survey.  Yes, you heard me. A survey about myself.
If you want to take it, let me know and I’ll hand you a link.

Data collection has been going great so far.
Still missing some answers, but it’s starting to be something I can make into a profile.

I thought I’d share some of the answers with you. [EDIT: Some people seem to think that this is the exact text I'll be pasting into the profile. No. This is the base of what will be in my profile, not the profile itself.]
First of all, let me explain about the survey itself.

Ten questions open for interpretation.
Answer freely in your own chosen manner.
If you want to be rude and weird, be rude and weird. If you want to not be dead serious, don’t be dead serious!
It’s that easy. This is also why I chose open answers on all, instead of questions with alternatives and restrictions.
Answers are made anonymous and also randomized.

1: What is the most describing feature of the person Tiger is looking for?
-  Exploratory/Inquisitive
- Possibly female
- I feel he seeks a girl with a heart just as big as he has. And she also needs to be a bit adamant/decisive
- Bubbly and engaging/committing
- Intelligent and caring
- Open, curious, committed and playful.
- A relaxed girl. Sure of herself and knows what she wants. An open mind, but strong and firm opinions of her own. She needs to be more fond of speaking with people, rather than to people. She needs to appreciate informal discussions about life’s many things both big and small. She needs to appreciate the little things in life. Like someone to crawl up to on the couch when it’s needed after a long day, home-made pizza or a movie marathon in good company.
- Kind
- Kind and as warm-hearted. Oh, and a tiger in bed!
- Geeky
- Down to earth, fun, honest and (with lack of a better translation)  “grepa”

2: What are the most describing features of the Tiger?
- Lovely, safe and quirky
- Usable (Tiger says: correct me if I’m wrong here Blondie) and smart.
- Lots of humour and feelings. He’s not afraid of showing it. If he has an opinion about you, he will tell you if you want to hear it or not.
- Caring
- Honest. A good listener, but still just as good to give advice and thoughts about topics and issues that need debating. Including. Insightful. Sees people for who they are and judges nobody unfairly. Shows initiative. Creative (behind a camera)
- Seemingly endlessly big heart. Kind. Unusually good listener. Playful. Good sense of humor. Including. There for the people who need him.
- Very thoughtful and helpful. Clear and firm in his belief, thoughts and what he says. Shows interest for others and their interests. Smart and intelligent.
- Kindness and friendly.
- His wicked libido!
- Solid and faithful

3: Who inspires the Tiger or who is inspired by the Tiger? (For clarification: in norwegian this question is possible to interpret both ways)
- Everyone!
- Other than whisky? I think the Tiger lets himself inspire by exactly what he wants in that precise moment he needs to.
- His closest social circle. Steve Jobs I guess. Oh, and tigers on animal planet. (Steve Jobs? Really Sassy? Have you met me?;) )
- His friends
- Good friends
- He should inspire everyone
- Very wrong people
- Thrall!

4: What role does the Tiger play in your life?
- Tech support and general good guy
- Plucky comedian..and chef
- The Tiger is one of my oldest friends. Like a brother to me. He’s always there when you need him and mostly he’s dearly missed since we live on each our side of the country.
- The Tiger is a fantastic person who I consider to be one of my best friends. He’s one I can call when I want to share great joy, sorrow or even nothing at all. He’s the kind of guy who make people feel like they’re worth something and that they are truly special. (I’ll admit, this brough a tear to my eye when I first read it.)
- He’s a person I trust blindly and I can confide and rely on.
- He plays a very important role. He’s always there if you need him. With a great big smile and a big hug when it’s needed. I really enjoy being in his company.
- A good friend in when you need it and otherwise too. Therapist? In charge of Humor!!
- Good buddy
- Very good friend
- A good friend, perfect flatmate and a great guy when you need it
- General good guy, moral support and evil eyes!

5: What’s your first association when you hear: Tiger?
- Alt-Tab!
- Computers, beard, whisky and no comment.
- A sense of loss, because I miss having him close. After 24 years of friendship and he’s always been someone I can turn to.
- Expectation: What has he done now?.
- A smile.
- “He who smiles” Because that’s how I remember him.
- TIGER! Mostly because of the tattoo, but still.
- “It’s been waaaay too long..!”
- Guitar.
- It all depends on who says it. If it’s one of my girlfriends it’s mostly: “Shoot. What’s he done now?” That or something quirky he’s done. Most of the time followed up by a rolling laughter.
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! DON’T DO THIS TO ME! I HATE ASSOCIATION GAMES! (Alright Blondie. Calm down. Don’t get your titties in a twist).
- Hahahahahahahahhahah!!! Wierd guy :)

6: What role does the Tiger have in your social circle?
- Forever single. (Now, this one I demand an explanation of Gator.)
- I have no social circle, but I’m very happy that he’s my friend.
- Techie.
- The Tiger is one of the few stable pieces in my social circle. He’s a reliable and funny person and that’s why he doesn’t fill any stereotypical role. He’s always there when you need it and when you need it he takes on the role you need him to be.
- One of my closest friends who I see to seldom due to geographic locations.
- A big role! There’s a reason why he’s on my speed-dial!
- I see the Tiger as one of my few good friends. One of those I per chance stumbled over. He’s one of those I see too seldom, but he gives alot of himself when I first see him.
- Lovely guy who I just feel very comfortable with when I spend time with him. He always has an open door and an open heart.
- Pretty important!
- Screwed up guy. The blue monster in Monsters Inc!

7: What’s your favorite memory of/with the Tiger?
- Those strange SMS conversations we have from time to time. (The Midnight Meat Train, in my pants!)
- Soooooo many, but amongst them: When we fixed up Shaggy with Goldilocks, when we sat up and played guitar and sang after everyone had left after the party and when ever one of us makes food.
- When he made me a song and played it for me. Beautiful!
- When he went around and poked people at work who didn’t do what they were supposed to do!
- Hmm.. Hard nut to crack. Don’t think we have any of those. We’ll have to make some!
- When I was recently single, he sat awake with me on Skype for hours helping me keep my mind off things. It all ended up with him singing and playing to me untill I fell asleep. Just fantastic!
- Several hours spent thinking about world problems at our standard haunt back home.
- There are so many. To choose some: Kidding around with seriously bad humor and wordplay. Hours and hours on end resting in his arms while watching movies and series.  And the worlds best hugs.
- It’s priceless!
- Too many to choose from! But I laugh for myself when I think about the countless times we’ve done stuff together.
- Too many!

8: What will your first words to his potential girlfriend be?
- Finally, someone took to sense! (And again, I did get a tiny bit of a tear in my eye when I read this. Thanks Goldilocks, it means a lot actually. )
- I think I’d rather be scowling at her from afar and listened to her untill I was convinced.
- If you’re mean to my friend, I will break you. (Thing is, Sassy really means this.)
- Congratulations! Now, take good care of him!
- Hi! (Now this I like. It’s simple and easy. )
- Hi. I’m Captain Awesome. Nice to meet you. You’re an astronaut? Cool, I’ve always wanted some moon rocks.  Could you bring some?
- Hello! Nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard soooo many nice things about you!
- I hope you know how lucky you are.
- Hi. Nice to meet you and welcome to Wonderwoman’s Q&A.
- Good luck.
- I understand the thing with the kebab and the rubber bath ring, but what’s the deal with the robe and the kazoo?

9: If you were to use one sentence to introduce the Tiger, what would it be?
- This is the Tiger!
- This is Tiger, a good guy you should get to know.
- He’s an experience in itself.
- Meet my supermegafantabulistic friend, why haven’t you met before, he’s super!
- Meet Tiger, my one and only guy friend and former accomplice in the service of evil phone-surveys!
- Fantastically kind friend.
- Meet Tiger, a good friend of mine and really cool guy.
- Haaaaaaave you met Tiger?
- This is a good weirdo I know.

10: A 10 part quick fire!
- What fruit is he?
Pineapple.
Banana.
Pineapple
Plum
Lemon
Banana
Mango
Apple
Nectarine
A shaved kiwi!
Lemon
Potato!
Potato being explained with this reasoning: he can be used for anything!

- What Car?
Fiat Panda.
A playful sports car.
A charming little Mitsubishi where the wipers freeze during winter and the heater doesn’t work. (I’ll have you know the heater works just fine thank you Sassy!)
Saab.
Ford Fiesta.
Toyota Rav4 because it’s cool and so is he.
Volvo because of the safety!
Toyota, easy to maintain and user-friendly.
A toy car.
A weird Volvo.
Convertible.
And someone said: Car? Hmm.. A blue one!

- What animal?
Rattlesnake!
Tiger.
A tiger, rawr!
A reindeer!
Albino moose!
Tiger.
Panda!
Tiger!
TIGER!!
A dog, because it’s faithful and loyal towards friends. Playful and affectionate.
Oh and apparently also a guinea pig?

- What book?
Get fit with low-carb!
Err, book? As long as it’s not The Secret.
The Lost Continent – Terry Pratchett
Jum Jum in “Mio min Mio” The faithful companion.
I don’t read a lot of books, so I don’t know what to say. A cool one!
The Malazan, book of the fallen. Linguistically very good, lots of content and very good.
Childrens book
An open book..
Best answer here: Windows for dummies! Thanks Gator ;) Spot on!

- Movie?
Tucker and Dale vs Evil!
Titanic (thanks for that Shaggy.. )
I choose to say a series: Big bang theory!
A comedy!
Silent movie!

- Beverage or drink?
Mint tea. (Yum… You have no idea how much I love mint tea!)
An Islay Whisky! (You nailed it Blondie)
Trashy Blonde! (It’s a beer, and it’s very good)
Hot Chocolate
Tea
Beer!
Coffee, how does one get by without?
Imported Beer!
Whisky
Cola
Whisky sour
Beer

- Feeling?
Exasperated
Warmth
Confused dejected
Joy
Happy
Safety and welcomed
GOOD
Reassuring joy
Tough
Sly

- Dish?
Something dipp-based
Tigersteak, rawr!
Chickenbreast
Fish
Filled pita, which you made to me once. And that was very cosy.
Spaghetti!
Fried greens and vegetables!
Paella
Taco. A mix of many good ingredients!

- Tool?
Hammer!
A Tiny Hammer! (I wear Mjølner around my neck for those wondering about this)
An Alan-wrench! Because for me, it’s useable to assemble most things!
Ehm.. It’s not fit for printing.. (Oh my.. well now..ehm..Nuff said)
Wrench!
A screwdriver. Because when things are a bit down and in the dumps, he comes around and just “loosens” all the problematic screws.
Umbrella!
Letterman foldable multitool.
A multitool of some sorts.
Alan-wrench.

- Sparetime activity?
Ehm… Sparetime?
Guitar playing and song
Roller-skates!
Yoga. Because you need to have endurance and strength. Tiger has both of these.
Scrabble
Board games
Bathing….with a big beach ball!
World of Tanks
A trip to the closest coffee-shop. Because I love trips to the coffee-shop!

So, I guess that’s me.
I’m still missing two data-sets before I make the profile itself, but hey. If this was the first time you read about me, and you trusted that this wasn’t altered, what would your first thoughts be?
Have in mind, this had to be paraphrased quite a lot to be translatable.

Got anthing you want to add?

A new dawn emerges..

So, after careful thought and consideration I’ve decided to take this blog to a new an exciting place.
Online dating.
You heard me!

More and more people meet over these sites.
I’ve tried this before and let me tell you about the “experiences” I’ve had so far.

It all started with me being tired of being single. Little was I to know what I had in store, but you already know that story.
I had just gotten a veritable kick in the pants by “Shoe Shop Slut”. From this point on only named as S3.

This is her story:
I was out shopping for shoes. Winter shoes to be exact. So I walk around the store looking for shoes I might like and that will actually be good for winter use.
So I pick out a pair I like and walk to the counter. Behind the counter is a gorgeous little thing.
Blue eyes, dark blonde hair and a cute smile that lights up even the darkest corners of Edgar Allan Poe’s mind.
I was thinking: Cute.

Cue: Small talk after she notices the amount on my gift certificate.
S3: You know, you won’t be able to use all of it today.
Tiger: Oh really? You sure, because that sounds like a challenge. *Slight wink and a smile*
S3: *Smiling back* Yes, very. Everything is on sale and it’s all going for anywhere between 50 and 75%. But that just means you can come back another day you know. *Winking back*
Tiger: *Blushing slightly* Fair enough, but won’t the certificate run out?
S3: No, it’s valid for 5 years this. So, are you out spending a girlfriend gift? *pointing to the heart on the envelope of the certificate*
Tiger: Oh, no. It’s from my mom. I’m recently single so no gift from girlfriends this year.
S3: Aww, I’m sorry. I know the feeling. I was dumped a few months ago too so I didn’t get one either.
Tiger: Tell you what. Since you didn’t get a gift from your boyfriend, you can get one from me if you want.

S3: Oh really now? What’s that then? *A spark in her eye*
Tiger: My phone number. It’s of course up to you what you do with it, but it’s something at least.
S3: That’s the best gift I’ve gotten in a while. *Smiling a wide and wonderful smile*
With a look of confusion and slight disbelief I gave her my number after I pay. I walk out of the place in slight shock and wonder. I utter my joy with a quite loud “WOOHOO!” and I hear her laughing with her friends.

A day or two passes and she sends me a message.
My jaw is on the floor now. It’s too good to be true.
But it was really her!
Turns out she lived only a few hundred yards from where I was living at the time so meeting her for hot chocolate and such was no problem at all.

We hit it off like major league players at batting practice.
She was cute as a button, smart like you wouldn’t believe and humor that fit mine perfectly. Maybe too good?
A few weeks went by with random meets and hanging out together.

One weekend her parents were out-of-town so she invited me down to meet some friends of hers and to just spend the weekend together.
I went to her that friday after work. We made pizza and had an otherwise awesome evening with her friends.
After they went home we sat down and watched a movie together.
Fridays being what they are (last day of the week) we were tired and just fell asleep on the couch in each others arms.
I woke up that morning being quite thirsty but otherwise well rested and in the company of that beautiful smile of hers.
I got up and walked towards the kitchen.

I managed to stub my toes on my way out of the livingroom.
When something hurts as much as that, I curse.
Being a Northerner, I’m not unfamiliar to cursing and I tend to let myself go a bit if it really hurts. That REALLY hurt!
I let out a proper tirade that shouldn’t be uttered in public.

She sits bolt upright in the sofa. Looks at me with eyes of disbelief and almost mistrust. Her jaw is almost down to the floor. All I’m able to ask is: What?
She says in a quiet voice: Tiger, in our house, we don’t speak like that.
Tiger: I’m sorry, but it really did hurt that much.
S3: If you want it to work between us, you can’t say stuff like that.
Blunt and baffled as I am, all I’m able to say: Oh no. Don’t tell me you’re one of these over the top christians that force their religion down the throat of others and expect every single person around them to bend over backwards, just so you won’t be offended?
Turns out, se was.
Much fighting and yelling ensued, but we finally agreed to disagree.

The next few weeks end up with random encounters.
But after more fighting, that eventually turned to more anger I cut all ties.
About two months go by with her sending random messages.
Finally she corners me on the bus.
After some careful deliberation, I choose to meet her.

As an odd turn of events, she starts with an apology.
Tiger: Why?
S3: For not being honest from the start. It all started after you gave me your number. I wasn’t going to call you, but when I told my friends, they made me do it. I swear.
(Sounded truthful in my ears and her eyes were tearing up)
Tiger: What are you talking about?
S3: They made me try to freak you out and yet see how long I could string you along. It ended up with a bet. But…
Tiger: But what?
S3: But I fell for you more and more as time passed. I panicked. I didn’t dare tell them and I was afraid you’d be angry.
Tiger: Damn right I’d be angry, but I appreciate honesty so much more. Hell! Had I known, I could even helped you out. All you’ve done now, is succeeding in pissing me off. I only have one word for you: Goodbye.

With that I walked out on what could have been a good relationship if it hadn’t been for lying.
Later I learned she also lied about being christian. This was part of the whole “Drive me crazy”-scheme.

This brought me ever closer to the dreaded online dating services.
A little while passed and I decided to just try it.
Why the hell not? But what would my friends think?
What would my family think if I actually found a girl there?
I can hear it now: Well, there wasn’t much hope for him any other ways.

Starting up a profile on Match.com was shameful for some reason.
What would I do if someone recognized me?
Lie? Tell them it’s a fake profile?
Nevermind that now. Deal with that when that time comes.

Several months pass and I exchange random messages and mails with a few girls. One of them I’m glad to call a dear friend today!
But I digress.
I’m finally contacted by this girl who just says: I’m new to this and I guess I just want to jump into it.
She presented herself without me making any contact with her initially.
And she turned out to be a cool girl. Pretty too.

A lot of emails passed and I finally worked up the nerves to ask her out.
And she said yes. I swear I had a tiny bit of a panic-attack right then.

I met her in a tiny italian restaurant in the city.
Hours passing and a two bottles of wine too.
We laughed and had a good time all through the evening.
Even when the waiters came and threw us out because they wanted to close, we kept on laughing.
There was friendly touching even.
I followed her to the train and gave her a goodnight hug.

Long story short with this one: Psycho.
All of a sudden after a month of talking about meeting again she just turns on a dime and says she’s seeing someone else.
And she’s been seeing this guy for a while.
All I say is that I don’t want to come between anyone, so I’ll back off.
She insists on it being ok and that it’s nothing to come between.
For some odd reason, me taking a step back is seen as an open invitation. This starts a series of arguments. At first they’re nothing more than me trying to explain why I won’t go into a situation like that.
Why I refuse to be the object in someone’s life that causes grief or pain.

Finally I snap and give her an ultimatum. Me or him.
Told her to give me a call when she’s done thinking.
Week after week pass with her constantly trying to contact me.
I refuse to take her calls and refuse to answer her messages untill I one day get the message: I’ve made my mind up.
She decided to go for him. Fair enough for me. I’m happy for her.

For some strange reason this wasn’t enough to make her mind up.
More weeks pass where she starts calling me while I’m at work.
She sends messages on Facebook and on my phone.
Being a fool I answer her every time. Fool in hope that she’ll stick to the ” friend” status.

Nope.
One day on my way home from work I get a call while sitting on the tram talking to a friend of mine.
Apparently she’s seen me with some girl.
She starts laying it out there like I’m the devil and a horrible person for not telling her about my new girlfriend.
Still being in public I try to stay civil and calm about it.
I manage to calm her down enough to be able to have a reasonable talk.
At this point I’m finally off the tram and I’ve gotten home.
Still working hard on keeping a normal and calm tone.
By chance she hears Blondie in the background talking to her boyfriend the Ninja.
Can you say: ballistic bi-polar much?
Christ on a cracker she went nuts.

This is where I snap.
I start yelling and about 40 minutes later I hang up.
The rest of the evening was spent with Disturbed blaring from my speakers.

So! For those still reading:
1: I’m sorry for the wall of text.
2: What online service should I try?
3: Or should I go for option number 2?
In short: option two is where I let my friends write a personal ad for me and post it at where they’d like?

Mind you, whatever option I go for, there will be bloggposts about this.

Tiger, signing off.

PS: part of my first attempt at online dating also included being stood up twice.

PPS: I should also say I had another very nice date with another girl, but that has a tendency to be forgotten amongst all the chaos. And we’re still writing to each other when we have time.

Fall is coming..

Fall is coming with its crispy winds.
With it takes the warming sun, and leaves a pale disc of sorts. It tricks us into thinking it’s still summer outside.
It takes all those exciting smells of summer with it.
Flowers and newly cut grass. Sun-tan lotion and perfume on those beautifully tanned women.
Barbequeues.
It takes with it the hum in the air just before a large thunderstorm hits.
It takes away the feeling of freshness in the city just after a proper, almost tropic, rain shower washes through the streets.
It takes with it a feeling of fresh and lively youth. A feeling of joy. It takes with it a feeling only describable as: Summer.

Colors of the fall are magical. That is, if you don’t live in the city. In the city it brings a dreary and grey look.
I know it’s not far to go some place where I can see those colors, but… *sigh*

Fall is always such a hard slap in the face.
All the crappy things that have had an effect on my life have hit during September, October or November.
I try so hard every year to forget and put it all behind me, but for some reason my body and brain finds it important to bring this back.
Curse this mortal vessel and its frail form.

I guess part of it all is continuously pressed by the fact that I’ve always had someone there for me during these times.
Not in form of friends. Like I’ve said before, and you can be damn sure I’ll say it again, my friends are awesome. But I still miss someone there that is something else.
Something more.

Yes, I know: STOP WHINING AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
I try, but I need to put this into words.
I need to sort shit out.

This being said: I miss someone, yes, but I also miss someone who I can bring my joy to and my extra energy to when they need it.
Right now, I have others I can share this energy with, but still. Having someone to share a bit of good news with before you spread it to friends.
Someone to offer that extra bit of energy before you spread that to friends.
I miss someone to give that extra bit of attention that they deserve.

I can’t do that with my friends. Well, I could but it wouldn’t be fair to the others.

Soundtrack for the moment?
Tom McRae – Can’t Find You
Sister Hazel – Your Winter
Oh Laura – Release me

All links point to Grooveshark.com

Tiger-Hulk smash!

Travelling..

Short people on buses.
My lord they can really be annoying. Not a single fiber in their bodies wants to sit still.
Yes, I know I was most likely just like this myself at some point. I’m talking about kids if you were wondering.
The fidgeting, the looking, the blatant copying of your movements and the staring. The staring alone is enough to make you snap.

Que-sneaking lowlife.
People who sneak in queues. I could murder. Do they think they’ll get to their destination WITH THE PLANE quicker just because they get to put their precious bags on the fucking conveyor belt before me? How about suck eggs lady! And she thought she was being snide about it too. Smalltalk with the people she passed. I wanted to walk up to her and grab her bags. Walk slowly towards the end of the line and say: here’s your sign!

Food starers.
STOP LOOKING AT MY FOOD YOU WIERD ASS FREAK!!! Get your own fucking food! I should really walk over to them and be a mouth-breather. Every bit as annoying. I wonder if they’d take a fucking hint.

Loiterers.
Idle fuckers with nothing else to do than hang around at random points near a public service terminal such as an airport, bus station, kiosk or a store of some kind. Often disguised as teenagers. Do something useful you miscreant! Go die for your country or at least TRY to not look so fucking idle.

Slow-walkers.
Right, I’m not exactly Speedy Fucking Gonzales myself, but I at least have the fucking sense to get the fuck out-of-the-way when people are in a hurry. If you’re not in a fucking hurry, start at a later fucking time and move at a normal pace.

Beauty-queen-wannabes.
Suck me sideways. They dress up like it was a fucking ball or such.
If you do that, at least have the decency to match your outfit. You don’t wear a strapless top of some kind with a bra that isn’t. I’m a guy, and even I understand that simple fact of life. Oh and don’t wear makeup that makes you look like a Nigerian whore. Often in the shape of a woman. Age between 45 and up to 55.

Breast-feeders.
PUT AWAY THE TITS MAM! Or at least try to conceal it. Don’t flop ‘em out like you’re at home. Jesus tap dancing christ. If I wanted to see tits in public, I’d go to a strip club of some sorts.

Luddites.
This needs clarification. Without Luddites, I’d be out of a job, but this is the kind of Luddite that doesn’t realize he/she is one. They buy new gadgets they either don’t need or don’t know how to operate them. Sitting for ages looking at their new smart-phone while it rings at the loudest fucking volume, because they don’t know how to answer the freaking phone. SLIDE THE SLIDER THAT SAYS: ANSWER!
Go back to your abacus and sun-dial! Pi is not 3.2 anymore!

Kissy and Mushy Face.
The happy couple that insist on sitting in front or behind you and kissing. Calling each other pet names. I wish you all well, but tone it down a tad. I didn’t get on this flight to see tounge being exchanged. And I certainly don’t want to hear about the time you did it on that plane, on your way to that place and the flight attendant only smirked at you when she caught you red-handed.

Mr. Way-too-happy-and-wants-to-share-it.
I frown because I’m in a bad mood. This is not an invitation for you to come over and try to make me happy. Me saying nothing and staring blankly while pondering on how I could easiest break your face, contrary to popular belief, is NOT an invitation for you to tickle me. And for the record, if you ever get offended when I push you away because you touched me without even as much as knowing my first name, I feel sorry for you.

Low-bloodsugar and angry Tiger signing off.

And now for something completely different..

So, there are some rumors out there that this is something out there called summer.
Crazy notion right?!

All links lead to Grooveshark.com.

Anyway, my posts lately have been a bit down and in the dumps, so I thought it right to do something different!

A summer is something you associate with music for the most of us. This summer I found some of my old MP 3 Cd’s from my first computer. And as I was driving around listening to these, I found some songs I wanted to share. Songs I associate with summertime at least.  I’ll be posting links to the songs and if I have memories of why, then I’ll post those too.

First out is one of the ultimate chill out songs for me.
Folk og Røvere – Yess!
This was 1999. I was 14 and not a care in the world. A summer full of friends and my Mini-Disc player was one of my best friends.
I remember making one disc specifically just for chilling on the porch with a cold coke in the sun.
And that’s exactly what I did. Buried myself in the headset, sunglasses and with the mini-disc player.

Next out:
DeLillos – Neste Sommer
1993. Boring song at the time, but I’ve learned to love it at a later point. Don’t ask me why.

Postgirobygget – Sommer på jorda
Just a really smooth song really.
It fits!

Up next is one of the best summertunes of all time. Also 1999.
Santana – Smooth
I remember sitting in my dads car with my mini-disc player once more. Windows opened to the max.  Wind blowing through the car but it’s still hot as hell. Again the cold coke in my hand as we roll along the countryside towards our destination.
Smooth. That’s the best way to describe it.

I don’t know why the next one is here, but I connect it with some memory of me and my brothers in my dads car on our way home from a summer holiday. I guess this was one of the songs that was most played on the radio that year.
I give you: Franklin – Bombadilla Life

An almost given is quite new:
Jason Mraz – I’m yours
I shouldn’t have to tell you why this is a good summer song.
It just flows beautifully. I have fond memories of a summer so hot I didn’t know what to do.
Me and Captain Awesome sitting on the porch of my flat in Oslo. Beer in hand. Chilling songs in the background.
Nothing but good company and good music. A good time to relax as any.

Following is just a list of random songs I associate with summer.
Idyll
En Solskinnsdag
Barcelona

But hey! Lets make this a co-op. What’s your ultimate summertune? And why?
Leave a note.

PS: Gotcha ;)